A Biblical Marriage
Written by Carli Odom
This post may not be politically correct, and to be honest, I have no interest in doing so. The Lord has set a higher standard. The views of this world do not concern me. As believers, we are made to stand out from the world.
Matthew 5:14 NIV “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.”
Romans 12:2 NIV “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Of course, I’m no expert on marriage, and there’s no such thing as a perfect one. My husband and I have been together for fifteen years and married for eight. We’ve had our share of ups and downs, but with every challenge, I’m thankful to say we’re stronger because of it.
The Lord has not always been at the center of our relationship. We met when we were teenagers and made mistakes that brought to light the need to keep God at the center of our marriage. Without Him, I can assure you, we would not be married today.
Because of this journey, I’ve fallen in love with marriage. I love love. I love my marriage. I’m passionate about the biblical balance it requires. I love seeing marriages that balance each other, build families, and stand the test of time. So, let’s dive into the Word and see what God has to say about marriage.
Marriage According to Scripture:
Mark 10:6-9 NIV “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 NIV “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
Philippians 2:3-4 NIV “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NIV “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
My husband and I were arguing one day, and I had this realization that shifted my perspective. We have promised to be faithful to each other. Meaning that we deny any romantic love or advances from anyone besides our spouse. So, if we fail to meet the needs or romantic desires of our spouse, they are expected to just go without for the rest of their lives.
I can’t imagine living the rest of my life without feeling loved, understood, respected, valued, and desired by my husband. That’s why it’s so important to listen to each other and work towards a solution where you both feel loved and respected. We are designed to complement each other, not compete. We are a team, and every challenge we face is an opportunity to grow closer. It takes intentional effort and lots of communication, but it’s the most rewarding love I’ve ever experienced, next to God’s love.
There is a biblical order to the household:
- God – Prioritize your time with God and study His word. Maintain a personal relationship with Him, and He will guide and teach you how to love.
- Spouse – Love and care for your spouse above all else, it’s the most important relationship we have on earth.
- Children – You must prioritize your spouse above your children. If your whole life is rooted in your children, you’ll be left with an empty marriage and a broken household when they leave.
A Husband’s Role:
Ephesians 5:25-28 NIV “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”
1 Corinthians 11:3 NIV “But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”
Colossians 3:19 NIV “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
1 Peter 3:7 NIV “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”
Ecclesiastes 9:9 NIV “Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.”
1 Timothy 5:8 NIV “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
The Bible places high expectations on men. Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church—sacrificially and with care. This means prioritizing her needs over his own and providing physical, emotional, and spiritual protection. A husband leads by example, creating a safe and nurturing environment for his family to thrive.
My Pastor, Chris Smith, once said a husband and father should act as a greenhouse for his family, protecting them from the harsh circumstances of the world and fostering an environment for spiritual growth. He should keep them safe while encouraging them to reach their full potential and purpose. As the head of the household, he has a big responsibility; without a strong leader, the family unit will suffer.
A Wife’s Role:
Ephesians 5:22-24 NIV “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
Proverbs 31:10-12 NIV “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”
Proverbs 31:26-27 NIV “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
1 Peter 3:1-2 NIV “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”
Proverbs 12:4 NIV “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.”
Proverbs 21:19 NIV “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.”
Proverbs 31:30 NIV “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Submission is often misunderstood. The Lord places the biggest responsibility on the husband. He is not exempt from the burden of leading by example. When the husband leads according to God’s will, the wife can submit joyfully, trusting him to lead with love and respect. If a woman feels safe and trusts her husband to make decisions and lead the household, she will naturally want to fulfill her duties as a wife. She will worship the Lord by caring for her husband’s needs. She will respect him and honor him in every way. She will be his peace in the chaos and the calm to his storm. It’s the most beautiful thing to experience, but she is unable to do this if she can’t trust her husband to be a man of God.
A strong man allows a woman to step into her feminine role, while a weak man forces her into a masculine role. A Godly husband will love his wife as Christ loves the church. A Godly wife will love, respect, and honor her husband. This balance leads to a flourishing marriage, rooted in mutual love and trust.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
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